Subject: Check this out maybe it YOU!


Telesales agent getting the customer's
credit card info:
>Agent: Can I have your expiration
date, sir?
>Customer: My what?!!
>--------------------------------------
----------------
>Telesales agent giving promo spiels:
>Agent: You called at the right time,
ma'am. We have a lot of freebies
to
>give away, such as free installation,
free equipment, and free DVD
player.
>That's a great offer, di ba?
>Customer: huh?!
>--------------------------------------
-----------
>Agent verifying info from the
customer:
>Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong?
>Customer: No, it's B.
>Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong...
>--------------------------------------
-----------------
>Customer trying to return a defective
product:
>Customer: I need to return this
defective sauna belt that you
delivered
>yesterday.
>Agent: For that concern, you can call
our customer service at
www.picustomerservice.com.
>Customer: Call where??!!
>--------------------------------------
---------
>Agent answering a call:
>Agent: Thank you for calling Dish
Network Department, my name is
Vince.....
>(sees that the number called by
customer is for a different client-- a
>DirecTV dealer).
>Customer: So, I called the wrong
number then?
>Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV
please dont go.... (puts the
customer
>on hold, and then)... Thank you for
calling DirecTV Department, my
name is
>Vince...
>--------------------------------------
----------------
>Agent wrapping up the sale:
>Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact
you within the next 24 hours to
>verify
>your installation schedules...
>Customer: Uhm.... say what, now.
Who's gonna call me?
>Agent: The INSTALLATORS, sir.
>--------------------------------------
---------------------
>Agent getting coupon code from
customer:
>Agent: Can I ask for the coupon code?
It's a bunch of letters.
>Customers: Like ABCs?
>Agent: Yes.
>Customer: Ok. ABCDEFG....
>--------------------------------------
------------------
>Agent giving the customer service web
address:
>Agent: It's P- as in Papa, I- as in
India, C- as in costume, U- as in
you,
>S- as in Sam, T- as in Tango, O....
Oscar...V- for Voy...
>--------------------------------------
-----------------------
>Agent wrapping up the sale, trying to
give the account info to
customer:
>Agent: I will now be giving you your
account number and order
confirmation
>number, do you have a PEN and BALLPEN
with you?
>--------------------------------------
-----------------------
>Agent trying to create urgency over
the available promotion:
>Agent: Are you sure you don't want to
take advantage of me?
>Customer: Say, what?
>--------------------------------------
-----------------------
>Agent trying to upsell a warranty:
>Agent: Here's an example: In
California, a plane crashed into a
customer's
>house, their dish was replaced, no
questions asked!
>--------------------------------------
----------------
>Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to
customer:
>Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this
and that, and you know, pretty
much
>anything under the sun. Isn't that a
great offer?
>Customer: What?
>--------------------------------------
---------------------
>Agent was asking the customer about
the cost of his cable service:
>Agent: How much are you paying with
your current provider?
>Customer: Well, I'm only paying
$25.00 (--which is way cheaper than
what
>the
>agent was offering)
>Agent: (Surprised) Shet, magkano??!!
>--------------------------------------
-------------
>Agent getting customer's address:
>Agent: Can I have your address,
please?
>Customer: It's twenyfurfif-ysavan
newyaorkgh road (2457 New York Road)
>Agent: Can you repeat that ulit?
>--------------------------------------
-------------------
>Agent asking the customer to be put
on hold:
>Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for
just a minute?
>Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!
>
>--------------------------------------
-----------------
>Agent verifying correct spelling:
>Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B
as in Bravo?
>Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as
in Boy?
>--------------------------------------
---------------------
>Technical Agent giving customer
support:
>Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected?
>Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with Alabama
accent)
>Agent: Yung yellow cord kung
nakakabit ba!
>--------------------------------------
---------------------
>
>Agent from a local phone company
entertaining a Visayan customer:
>Customer: hillo! wala kasi yung bell
ng pon namin??
>Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak
yung phone?
>Customer: Hende naman.
>Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
>Customer: Ang alen?
>Agent: Na hindi po nagri-ring yung
phone?
>Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
>Agent: Di ba sabi mo walang ring?
>Customer: Hende! yong BELL! yong
lestahan nong babayaran namin!!
>Agent: aahhh... yung BILL?!
>--------------------------------------
-----------------
>
>Technical Agent: To help you out with
your concern, ma'am, let me just
pull
>out my tool here, ok? (referring to a
computer program used in call
centers
>to address the customer's concerns)
>Customer: Pull out your what now?
>--------------------------------------
--------------
>
>Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P
on your keyboard?
>Customer: What? Could you repeat
that?
>Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard,
Bob.
>Customer: No way. I'm not going to do
that.
>--------------------------------------
------------------------
>Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q
for Quiapo.....
>
>Customer: What is that?! I dont
understand. I don't want to talk to
you.
>Agent: Who do you want to talk to?
>Customer: I want to talk to the
highest person.
>Agent: My supervisor is not available
as of the moment sir.
>Customer: I said, I want to talk to
the highest person.
>Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the
highest person?
>Customer: Yes!
>Agent: Do you want to talk to God?
>Customer: what the f***! I'd rather
talk to you.
>--------------------------------------
----------------------
>Irate Customer: F***k you!
>Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed
to say "F***k you!" here...
>--------------------------------------
--------------------------
>
>Agent: It's C as in CAT.
>Customer: what?
>Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow
meow...
>--------------------------------------
---------------------
>
>Agent: Thank you for calling us, this
is Candy, how may I help you?
>
>Customer: What did you say your name
was... Mandy?
>Agent: No, sir, it's Candy.
>Customer: Sorry, i can't hear ya...
didja say Mandy?
>Agent: It's Candy sir... Candy... as
in Storck!
>--------------------------------------
---------------------
>
>Agent: Alright, let me verify that...
Was that a "G" as in golf?
>Customer (with a different accent):
NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA!
(z as
>in zebra)
>Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?!
>--------------------------------------
---------------
>
>Agent: Yeah, sir....hello sir... are
you there?
>Customer: Yes, sorry. I'm still there.
>--------------------------------------
-----------
>
>Agent: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and
a PENCIL ready?
>Customer: What?!!
>Agent: Oh, Im sorry, sir... i mean,
do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN
ready?
>--------------------------------------
------------
>
>Agent: I'd like to speak with Billy
Thompson please?
>Contact: He's not in. Would you like
to leave a message in his
voicemail?
>Agent: Sure, SIGE..
>--------------------------------------
-----------------
>
>Tech support: We're going to perform
a check disk to see if your hard
drive
>has errors in it. Please type in C-H-
K-D-S-K.
>Customer: What is that again?
>Tech Support: C-H-K-D-S-K... that
is... C as in Charlie... H as in
>Harley... K as in Karly.. D as in
Darley... S as in Sarley... and K as
in
>Karly... got it?