Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.

Actual Headline: Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke

"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart, he dreams himself your master.

You never learn anything by doing it right.

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.