Joke Joke Joke
Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down.

One day John got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked.

"My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?"

"Where are you?" John asked.

"I'm in the drugstore," Jill responded.

"And where's the car?" John asked.

Jill replied, "Oh, it's in here with me."

---------------
HOUSECLEANING TIPS FOR INTERNET JUNKIES

Sweeping and Mopping the floors -- Have dog sweep floors with tail and lick up all crumbs.

Vacuuming -- Call for demo from salesman. Have him show you how the vacuum works in all parts of the house. Tips for success: Don't always call same company ... keep a chart and rotate.

Dusting -- Only do what is at eye level or below. And only right before someone is coming over!

Laundry -- First find a good place to hide it! If you have to do it... like you have no underwear... (heck who needs underwear).

Cleaning toilet -- Close the lid.

Cleaning Shower -- Close the shower door or curtain.

Cleaning the rest of the Bathroom -- Close the door.

Taking out the Trash -- If you can't find anyone in your house to take it out... bribe a neighbor ... say you hurt your back or some other sob story... that one might be good for getting at least a few sympathy dinners out of the neighbor as well! Try not to use it too often ... they might get suspicious.

Dishes -- Dishwasher...if it doesn't come off run it again and again if that doesn't work ... throw the dish out and start fresh. Better yet ... paper plates, plastic utensils and plastic cups are far better way to go... (as long as your neighbor is taking out the trash).

We hope you find our list helpful in allowing you more and more online time. As we have all learned frozen dinners and take out foods are a life saver on those days that you just cant seem to get your butt outta the 'puter chair ... good luck... We hope to see more of you online soon!